ACADIAN
Another Canadian Advanced Design Inspired All Novas

ACURA
Another Corpuscle Ulcerating Rectal Activity
Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
Another Case of a Useless Reported Acronym?
A Curse Usually Reserved for Assholes
All Cars Usually Run Away

AMC
All Makes of Cars
A Mass of Crap
Another Mechanical Conglomeration
All Makes Combined

AUDI
Another Uninformed Driver Insulted.
Another Useless Device Installed.
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented.
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc

BEETLE
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine

BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monsterous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpeices on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Blastphemous Motorized Wreck
Born Moderately Wealthy
Bought My Wife
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monsterous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Bowel Movement Wagon
Big Man Wannabe
Beautiful Maidens Weaken
Beaten Most Weekends
Beauty Melts Women
Boils My Wheels

BUICK
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
Big Ugly Incredibly Cool Kar
Big Ugly Incredibly Cool Kustom
Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean
Big Ugly Immitation Chrome King
Big Ugly Inexpensive Caucasian Klunker

CADILLAC
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
Creaking And Disabled It Leaks Like All Chevys

CAMARO
Can't America Make A Real One?
Cool American Made Automobile, Runs Outstanding

CHEVROLET
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Loses Every Time
Cheep Heep Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
Can't Handle Even Very Regular Ordinary Little Everyday Tasks
Car Handles Exceptionally Very Responsive Ordinarily Leaves Everyone Trailing
Competition Hardly Exists Vehicle Regularly Originates Low Elapsed Times
Can Hear Every Valve Rod Or Lifter Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

CHEVY
Charged HEaVilY
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Can Have Everyone Violently Yakking
Continues Having Emissions Violations Yearly
Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky
Crap Hidden (in) Every Vast Yard

CHEV
Chuck Heave & Eventually Vomit

CHRYSLER
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
Current Hemi Rips! You Should Leave Everyone Reeling

CITROEN
Crappy Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nuts

CORVETTE
Cornerstone Of Racing Vehicles Evaporating Track Times Everywhere
Chevrolet Organization Realizes Vipers Eat This Trash Easily

COUGAR
Crafted Of Ugly Gremlins And Reliants

DAEWOO
Design And Engineering Were Obviously Overlooked

DATSUN
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
Disgraceful Auto That Stalls UNceasingly

DODGE
Damned Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engines
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Dirty Old Dying Gas Eater
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dead On Delivery - Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Driven Only During Grey Evenings
Dead Old Dog Going East
Drift On Down, Garage is Empty
Don't Over Doit, Go Easy
Dodge Owner Dont Give Excuses

EDSEL
Even Dad Says Edsel's Lame
Every Day Something Else Leaks

FERRARI
Fickle Engine Rarely Runs And Ruins Itself

FIAT
Failure in Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again Tony?
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fails In Attempted Turns
Fine Italian Automotive Technology
Failed In A Tunnel
Flats In All Tires
Found In A Trench
Forget It Arriving There

FIERO
Found In Everybodies Rearview Only

FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Race Day
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Russian Dump
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
F*cked On Race Day
F*cked Over Rebuilt Dodge
F*cked Over Recycled Dodge
F*cked Over Recycled Datsun
For Old Retired Drivers
For Old Retired Drunks
Fart Out Right Door
F*cker Only Runs Downhill
Found On Rednecks Driveway
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fails On Rainy Days
Fought Off Recall Demands
Fork Over Repair Dough
Federation Of Retarded Drivers
Fickle Old Rusty Deathtrap
Fill Oil & Reserviors Daily
Fastest On Road, Dip!
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Formed Of Rejected/Random/Recessive/Remaindered DNA
F*ck! Our Ride Died!
Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled
Fond Of Resonating Decibels
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Forgot Our Recommended Defaults
Foot On Road Decelerates
For Old, Rotten Deadbeat
Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
Fireball On Rear Denting
Frequently On Ritalin Designers
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic
Fatal Oral/Rectal Delivery
Famous Odor Resistant Dog
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver (onboard)
For Only Redneck Drivers
Falling Off: Rusty Door
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Freaking Owner's Really Dumb
F*ckin' Owner's Really Dumb
Foreign Organization (of) Reckless Drivers
Foreign Organization (of) Redneck Drivers
Forget Out Running Dale (Earnhardt)
For Off Road Duties
Found On Refuse Disposal
Formed Of Recycled Dodges
Fuel Oil Regularly Drips
Figure On Replacing Drivetrain
Feeble Old Retarded Driver
Feeble Old Retired Driver
Forced On Retarded Drivers
Fires On Racetrack Daily
Driver Returns On Foot (backwards)
Driver Ran Outta Fuel (backwards)

GEO
Good Engineering Overlooked
Generally Engine's/Everything's Obsolete
Grease Everywhere, Overnight
Got Electric Onboard
Giant Eater of Oil
Generally Evacuates Oil
Gm's Error Overlooked
Gaseous Emissions Oily

GM
General Maintenance
God's Machine
God's Motor
Garbage Makers
General Mistake
Generous Motors
Grungy Merchandise

GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Got More Crap
Gotta Mechanic Coming
God's Motor Company
Gargantuan Motor Car
Generic Made Chevy
Gay Mans Chevrolet

GTO
Girls Taking Over
Grand Take Off
Guys Taking Over
Guaranteed To Overachieve
Geared To Overtake
Good Times Overlooked

HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
Holy Orifices Nuther Dumb Asswipe
How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Hell Of a Nice Dang Automobile
Hand Over Dollars to Asia
Help! One Nasty Death Awaits
Hell On Nissans, Destroys Acuras

HUMMER
Huge Ugly Machine Mostly Excites Rappers
Have U Met My Ego Recently?

HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import

IROC
I Race Other Cars
I Run Over Children
I'm Really Out of Cash
It's Really Only a Camaro
I'd Rather Own a Corvette
Ignorant Retards Out Cruising

JEEP
Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts
Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
Just Everyone Elses Parts
Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jumps Everything Ever Parked
Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
Just Enough Essential Parts
Just Enough Equipment Provided
Junk Engines Expiring Prematurely
Jeep Engines Exude Puddles
Just Empty Every Pocket

KIA
Keep It Away!
Korean Insanity Apparent
Keep In Asia!

LTD
Long Term Debt
Laughable Trash Dump
Lousy Transportation, Dammit!
Little Tin Dream
Last Try from Detroit
Long, Thin Dumpster
Long Time Driving

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
Miles At Zero, Dead Anyway
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
Maker Advertises "Zoom", Description Accurate

MERCEDES
Making Engineered Race Cars; Every Day Extreme Speed
Mechanially Excellent Real Cars Every Driver Envies Sight
Most Every Road Car Engineered During Electrical Storm
Most Every Road Car Easily Diesels Every Sunday
Marketing Executives Rarely Cease, Eating Dough Each Sale
Making Executives Real Classy Even Dumb Ego'ed Salesmen
May Eat Real Cash, Ever Dreading Evil Salesmen

MERCURY
Mercury's Even Ride Crappy Up Road Yonder

MG
Money Guzzler

MINIVAN
Manhood Is Not Intact, Vasectomized And Neutered

MITSUBISHI
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
Manufactured In Tightly Secured Underground Bases I Supported Hirohito's Imperialism
My Initial Turbo Scorched Up Because It's Silly Housing Imploded
Mostly It Takes Second, Usually Because Imprezza Subarus Hammer It

MOPAR
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Massively OverPowered And Respected
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
More Orange Paint And Rust
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
Mutilates Other Products At Races
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
My Only Problems Are Repairs
Move Over Plymouth's Are Racing
Most Our Parts Are Rebuilt
Motors Of Performance And Racing

MUSTANG
Massively Under Sized Tires And No Go
Most Unusual Snake, Tastes Awkward, No Good
Motor Under Strain, Transmissions Almost No Good

NISSAN
Now In Some Silly Automobile Nightmare
Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon
Need It Sooner? Send A Nissan!
Nobody Is Safe Steering A Nissan

OLDS
One Leak, Dead Starter
Old Ladies Driving Slowly
Old Lemons Dying Slowly

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Infuriatingly late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
Oh Look Dangit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Old Ladies Drive Slow -- Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
Original Low Dollar Subcomponent Manufacturing Organized Basically Into Luxury Editions

PINTO
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Please, Invest Nothing To Operate
"Put Into Neutral", Tow-guy Orders
Prayer Is Needed To Operate

PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap
Please Leave Your Mechanic Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC
Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac
Poor Old Nut Thinkin' It's A Chevy
Pours Out Noxious Toxins In American Cities
Piss On Nippon, This Is A Car!
Plymouth Ordinarily Negates This in Acceleration Contests

PORSCHE
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Please Overlook Really Silly Cardboard Horrible Engine
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
Piece Of Ripe Shit Currently Has Expired

PROBE
Plainly Runs Only By Exception

RAMPAGE
Reliable And Mechanically Perfect, A Gem Everyday
Rusty And Mostly Perforated Another Gutless Engine

RENAULT
Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

RS (Camaro)
Real Slow
Real Speedy
Relatively Sh!tty
Really Slick
Really Sh!tty

SAAB
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Stupid, Arrogant @sshole Babies
Such An Arrogant Bastard!
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Suckering American Auto Buyers
Selling Another Automotive Blasphemy
Sitting, Always Awaiting Bucks
Slow Accelerating, Always Beaten
Same As Always, Behind

SUBARU
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
(backwards) U-R-A-Bus
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
Surprisingly Ugly Basically Are Really Useless
Supremely Ugly Bodies Are Rusting Underneath

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Towed Often, Yearly Overrunning Triple-A

TRIUMPH
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

VIPER
Viper Is Poorly Engineered Right?
Very Inconspicuous - Police Earn Rewards

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Vehicle Of Low Velocity Output
Victory Over Lesser Vehicles Ordinary

Volkswagen
Vehicle Of Loser Krauts Some Wacky Austrian Guy Endorsed Nationally

VW
Very Wrong
Virtually Worthless
Very Worthless

YUGO
Yugoslavian Ugly Goat Oil Yikes! Ugly Goes Overboard!

Z28
Zippy 2.8liter

STP
Stop Those Pistons.

BOW TIE
Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines

NAPA
Never Any Parts Available.
Need A Part Asshole?